“Can you help me with this?”
“Since we’re working together, can you handle this part?”
“I’m a little busy right now. Do you mind taking over?”
There’s nothing wrong with these requests on their own. In a healthy workplace, colleagues help one another, share knowledge and step in when someone needs support.
But what happens when the same person keeps asking for help, yet rarely offers any in return? Or when a task that belongs to one employee somehow becomes another employee’s responsibility simply because they’re supposedly working as a team?
At some point, collaboration can start to look less like teamwork and more like passing the buck.
And the tricky part? It doesn’t always happen through direct demands. Sometimes, it comes disguised as cooperation, a favour or an appeal to being a “team player”.
So, where do we draw the line between working together and avoiding our own responsibilities?
1. Collaboration Means Contributing, Not Just Delegating
Good collaboration brings people together to combine their strengths, share ideas and achieve something they couldn’t accomplish as effectively alone.
One colleague may have the technical expertise, another may handle stakeholder communication, and someone else may coordinate the overall project. Everyone contributes in a way that supports the shared objective.
But collaboration doesn’t mean everyone can simply pass their work to whoever seems more capable, available or willing to help.
Imagine you’re responsible for preparing a report. You ask a colleague to explain a few figures because they have more experience with the data. That’s collaboration.
Now imagine you repeatedly ask the same colleague to prepare the report, check the figures, format the document and submit the final version while you remain responsible for the task on paper.
That’s a different story.
The issue isn’t that someone received help. It’s that the contribution became one-sided, and the original task owner stopped carrying their fair share of the responsibility.
Teamwork should distribute effort appropriately, not redistribute accountability to the most helpful person in the room.
2. The “Can You Help Me?” Trap
Most people don’t mind helping their colleagues occasionally. In fact, being willing to help is part of building a supportive workplace.
However, some people learn that if they ask often enough, someone else will eventually take over.
It may start with a small favour: reviewing an email, fixing a spreadsheet or helping with a difficult task. The next time, the request becomes a little bigger. Eventually, the colleague who offered help once becomes the unofficial person responsible for completing the work.
Sometimes, this happens because the person asking for help genuinely lacks the skills or confidence to complete the task. In other cases, they may be overwhelmed or unclear about what is expected of them.
But repeated requests can also become a way to avoid effort, delay accountability or take advantage of a colleague’s willingness to cooperate.
The distinction lies in what happens after the help is given.
Does the person learn from the experience and become more capable of handling the task independently? Do they contribute to the next step? Do they acknowledge the support and take ownership of the final outcome?
Or do they keep returning with the same request, expecting someone else to rescue them every time?
Helping a colleague develop is constructive. Becoming their permanent replacement for work they’re responsible for is not.
3. Being a Team Player Doesn’t Mean Saying Yes to Everything
Some employees struggle to set boundaries because they don’t want to appear unhelpful.
They worry that refusing a request will make them look selfish, difficult or unwilling to collaborate. So they agree to take on extra tasks, even when their own workload is already full.
Over time, this can create an unhealthy pattern. The person who consistently delivers becomes the person everyone approaches when they don’t want to handle something themselves.
Meanwhile, the person who repeatedly shifts their work may face fewer consequences because someone else keeps stepping in.
Eventually, the helpful colleague becomes overwhelmed, their own responsibilities suffer, and resentment builds within the team.
This isn’t sustainable teamwork. It’s an imbalance that can affect both employee well-being and overall team performance.
Being a team player means being willing to contribute to shared goals. It doesn’t mean accepting every request without considering your workload, role or existing commitments.
You can be cooperative while still setting reasonable boundaries.
For example, instead of automatically agreeing to complete a colleague’s task, you could say:
“I can help you understand the process, but I won’t be able to complete the task for you because I need to finish my own work.”
Or:
“I can review your draft once you’ve completed it. Let me know if there’s a specific part you’re unsure about.”
These responses offer support without taking ownership away from the person responsible.
You can support your teammates without becoming responsible for everything they don’t want to do.
4. If You’re Asking for Help, Don’t Hand Over Your Accountability
Of course, this conversation isn’t only about the people receiving requests. It also applies to those asking for help.
Everyone needs assistance sometimes. You might be new to a role, unfamiliar with a system, dealing with an unexpected challenge or working on something that requires input from several departments.
There’s no shame in asking questions or admitting that you need support.
What matters is how you approach the situation.
Before asking someone to help, consider whether you’ve made a reasonable effort to solve the problem yourself. Be specific about what you don’t understand instead of simply handing over the entire task.
If a colleague helps you, take the opportunity to learn. Apply what you’ve learned the next time you face a similar challenge.
Most importantly, remain accountable for your assigned responsibilities unless the task has been formally reassigned or the team has agreed on a different division of work.
For example, saying, “I’m having trouble with this formula. Could you show me how to fix it?” invites collaboration.
Saying, “I don’t know how to do this. Can you finish it for me?” transfers the work without necessarily addressing the underlying problem.
There will be situations where someone genuinely needs more hands-on support. That’s perfectly reasonable. But the support should be appropriate to the situation, with clear expectations about who is doing what.
Asking for help should move the work forward, not become a shortcut for avoiding it.
5. Watch Out for the Subtle Ways Responsibility Gets Shifted
Not every attempt to avoid responsibility looks obvious. Sometimes, the pattern develops through everyday workplace behaviour.
Here are a few signs worth paying attention to:
The endless “quick favour”. A colleague repeatedly asks you to complete small tasks that gradually consume a significant amount of your time.
The selective team player. Someone emphasises teamwork when they need help but becomes unavailable when others need support.
The responsibility handover without agreement. A colleague assumes you’ll take over their work without discussing your capacity or obtaining agreement from the relevant person.
The credit-and-blame imbalance. Someone presents a shared result as their own achievement but distances themselves when something goes wrong.
The repeated lack of preparation. A colleague consistently arrives without completing their part, expecting others to step in to meet the deadline.
One isolated incident doesn’t necessarily mean someone is being manipulative. People have difficult days, competing priorities and genuine limitations.
The concern is a recurring pattern, particularly when the person shows little willingness to improve, communicate honestly or contribute fairly.
Recognising that pattern early can help prevent an occasional favour from becoming an unspoken expectation.
6. How Can Teams Collaborate Without Losing Accountability?
Healthy collaboration doesn’t happen by accident. It requires clear responsibilities, open communication and a shared understanding of what each person is expected to contribute.
Here are a few practices that can help.
Clarify ownership from the beginning.
For shared projects, establish who is responsible for each task, who provides support and who makes the final decisions. Everyone should understand their role rather than assuming someone else will handle it.
Set boundaries around assistance.
Employees should feel comfortable offering guidance without automatically accepting additional work. Managers can help by encouraging employees to discuss competing priorities before taking on more responsibilities.
Address recurring issues early.
If one person repeatedly fails to complete their share, have a constructive conversation rather than allowing other team members to absorb the extra workload indefinitely. Focus on the specific behaviour, its impact and what needs to change.
Recognise contributions fairly.
Acknowledge the people who complete the work, provide meaningful support and help the team succeed. Recognition should reflect actual contributions, not simply who presents the final result.
Make accountability part of the team culture.
Employees should understand that asking for help is acceptable, but completing assigned responsibilities remains important. Managers should model this standard by taking ownership of their decisions and addressing performance issues consistently.
The goal isn’t to discourage teamwork or make employees reluctant to help one another. It’s to ensure that collaboration remains fair, productive and sustainable for everyone involved.
7. A Good Team Doesn’t Depend on One Person Carrying Everyone Else
Every workplace needs people who are willing to lend a hand. Without cooperation, even straightforward projects can become unnecessarily difficult.
But a team cannot perform at its best when some members consistently contribute while others rely on them to pick up the slack.
Over time, this imbalance can affect morale, workload distribution, trust and the willingness of employees to help one another. People who feel repeatedly taken advantage of may eventually stop volunteering their support, even when a genuine need arises.
That’s why accountability and collaboration must go hand in hand.
A strong team doesn’t expect everyone to know everything or solve every problem independently. It encourages people to ask questions, share expertise and support colleagues through challenges.
At the same time, it expects each person to make a reasonable effort, fulfil their commitments and take responsibility for their part in the outcome.
You don’t have to choose between being helpful and being accountable. You can be both.
And if you’re the person who always steps in, remember that setting boundaries isn’t the same as refusing to be a team player. Likewise, if you’re the person who frequently asks for help, take a moment to consider whether you’re learning from that support or simply passing the work along.
Collaboration is about making the team stronger together, not making someone else responsible for your share.
Because in a healthy workplace, people help one another succeed — but everyone still has a part to play.